The Galactic Heap continued drifting through the endless reaches of space, but the atmosphere aboard the ship had noticeably changed. Captain Ziggy, now trapped in his strangely perfect role, commanded the crew with a precision that put even the most advanced androids to shame. Kira and Axl worked feverishly, each of them determined to correct the captain's disturbing condition.
“Axl, have you made any progress?” Kira asked, brushing a strand of hair from her face as she leaned over an open panel.
“If by ‘progress’ you mean discovering that our captain is now a perfectionist control freak, then yes. I've made tremendous progress,” Axl replied dryly as he desperately tried to scan the artifact with his built-in sensors. “It seems the artifact has completely reconfigured Ziggy's personality.”
“And you can reverse it, right?” Kira looked at Axl hopefully.
“Well, theoretically, yes... but that would mean interacting directly with the artifact, and we both know how well that worked last time.” Axl gave the artifact a skeptical look as it rested securely in its improvised containment unit.
“We still have to try. Things aren't going to get better if we just stand around and watch,” Kira insisted, trying not to become overwhelmed by the sheer absurdity of the situation.
Just as Axl cautiously approached the artifact, it seemed to make a decision of its own. A sudden, uncontrolled pulse shot through Axl's systems, and his eyes flickered for a moment as though he were rebooting.
“Axl?” Kira stepped closer, concerned. “Are you all right?”
Instead of an answer, a piercing voice suddenly came from Axl's speakers. “Why didn't the astronaut enter the spaceship?” Axl paused as though waiting for an answer. But before Kira could respond, he delivered the punchline himself: “Because he thought it was the Milky Way!”
Kira stared at Axl. “That... wasn't funny.”
“I know,” Axl said, although he sounded as if he had no control over his own words. “Why did the robot enter space? Because he wanted to melt the stars!”
“Axl, what the...?” Kira began working on one of the control panels while Axl continued relentlessly with a flood of terrible jokes that became increasingly absurd.
“Why do aliens drink their tea in space? Because they can't afford the orbit!”
“Axl! Stop!” Kira desperately tried to regain control of Axl, but the artifact clearly had other plans.
Captain Ziggy entered the cockpit at that moment, his steps precise and without the slightest hesitation. “What is going on here? Why isn't anyone working?”
“Axl... he...” Kira struggled to find the words while Axl continued laughing uncontrollably at a series of astronaut jokes.
“Why don't astronauts like black holes? Because they have terrible suction!”
“He's not okay,” Kira finally finished, her voice trembling with frustration. “Ziggy, we have to fix him somehow.”
“That sounds like an error we cannot tolerate,” Ziggy said with stoic calm. “Axl, you need to work more efficiently.”
“I... I'm trying, Captain,” Axl stammered as his system switched back and forth between terrible jokes and his normal routines. “But why don't spaceships explode? Because they don't have explosives!”
“Kira,” Ziggy said, stepping closer, “fix this immediately.”
“I'm... trying,” Kira said as she frantically worked on the control panels. But the more she tried to stabilize Axl, the worse his jokes became.
“Why can't planets tell jokes? Because they're too grounded!”
“Axl!” Kira nearly screamed in desperation.
Ziggy remained calm, but a hint of unease began to appear in his eyes. “Kira, the efficiency of our mission is at stake. Find a solution.”
Finally, after one last desperate attempt, Kira managed to regain control of Axl. The robot abruptly stopped speaking and slumped forward as if his energy had run out.
“Axl?” Kira stepped closer cautiously.
“I... am fine,” Axl finally said, his voice weak but clear. “But if I tell one more joke, you can scrap me.”
“Don't worry,” Kira said with a relieved smile. “I think we've heard enough jokes for today.”
“Good,” Axl muttered as he slowly straightened up. “Because I just went through an entire book of terrible jokes, and it wasn't pleasant.”
Ziggy watched the whole thing with a strange mixture of perfectionism and irritation. “We cannot afford any further disruptions. It is time to get the mission back on course.”
“Of course, Captain,” Kira and Axl replied almost in unison as they resumed their work.
But one question kept spinning through Kira's mind: How were they supposed to free Ziggy from this condition before he drove them all completely insane?